Of boobs and books

Baby's bedtime routine begins at 8pm when he gets a long bath and then milk direct from my udders. I will sing to him and talk to him softly about his day, my day, and how we had spent it together.

Most times he will suckle until he falls asleep in my arms, and then I'll tuck him in.

Tonight we deviated a little. Due to the heat, we decided to give him his bath right after dinner, at 7pm. Then we played in the nursery with the air conditioning on.

Time flies when we are having fun, and I realised with a start that it was already 8.15pm.

No wonder he was starting to rub his eyes and pull at his ears.

i popped out a boob and asked, "Do you want milk milk?"

He grinned so brilliantly and crawled quickly to me, slapped that boob a few times and latched right on while still on all fours.

LOL!

And when he heard me laughing out loud, he joined in. What a warm, fuzzy feeling to hear him chuckle so.

So Awesome Husband turned off the lights and left us to complete the bedtime routine.

Titus is such an awesome, easy baby.

I can't thank my lucky stars enough.

Meanwhile, today we noticed that he would look around for his story books when we say, "Where are your books, baby?"

Once, I hid two of his books under a large plastic tambourine and said,"Let's read some books!". Right away he looked around, spotted them and crawled right over and extracted one of the books from under the tambourine!

What a smart kid!

Teething nightmares

Titus is an awesome kid. For weeks now he has been waking up in the morning and playing quietly by himself until I woke up or my dad came through his door. Unfortunately that also meant we wouldn't know when he had actually woken up, and lately he has been awfully sleepy in the morning.

Dad reported today that baby slept from 1.5 hours at 9am, and then again for 2 hours at about 1pm. He didn't even finish his lunch!






The Awesome Husband suggested that perhaps he hadn't slept through the night, kept up by painful gums. Quite possible, as poor darling has been clawing at his gums and refusing to eat. Teething nightmares are finally here!

That probably also explains why he's been clingy and whiny around bedtime.

AND he has been chomping down on my nipples during feeds the past two days! I couldn't help but yelp in pain and he'd freeze and look absolutely mortified before breaking into tears.

Poor darling.

He just wanna be close to me

Titus was very clingy this morning. He refused to let me out of his sight even though he was obviously still sleepy after waking up for his first feed at 6.24am.

He cried at soon as I placed him back in his cot, but would lie quietly on my shoulder when in picked him up - a sign that he's sleepy.

So I carried him and sang gently to him, and then tried to put him down again. That failed several times, so Awesome husband came and took over, hoping to play a little with him to cheer him up.

I left baby's room for a while to use the bathroom. He wailed as soon as my back was turned.

I suspect Titus was so clingy this morning because we put him to bed very early yesterday - at 7.30pm because he had missed his nap and was rubbing his eyes and pulling his ears - signs of lethargy for him.

He didn't sleep right away, but laid still, hugging his bolster and staring into space.

I left him like that in the dark. I knew he would fall asleep on his own, he always does.

But he could have been lying in the dark for a full hour cos he sprung right up when I checked in on him an hour later. He sat up and looked at me with enormous eyes.

I'm not sure how awake he was then, cos he didn't fuss when I tucked him again. He shut his eyes right away and I quickly left his room.

He might have taken longer than usual to fall asleep last night, and must have felt lonely, hence his behaviour this morning.

I'm not complaining though. I value every moment he allows me to hold him quietly in my arms. These day little bub is always pushing off me to get down and crawl. :)

An accomplishment

It has been nine months and 12 days since I first latched Titus on, and I'm extremely proud of myself.

I'm glad that I persisted despite the rough start - blistered, bleeding nipples that just wouldn't stop hurting no matter the position I latched baby on and even when I'm not feeding because the fabric of my bra was brushing against them tender buds.

I'm glad I persisted despite feeling exhausted every night and day, and stayed up a little bit longer after every feed to pump in order to empty both breasts and encourage more and continued production.

I'm glad that I persisted despite returning to work and finding time to pump at my desk is increasingly tough as work gains momentum.

Of course, now that Titus is eating solids, he's suckling a lot lesser and my supply has plummeted. So these day every opportunity that I get to cuddle him quietly in my arms for a feed is a precious one. Nevermind that he feeds for only 10 or 15 minutes. Every minute is celebrated.

I don't know for how long more he will take my breasts. I just hope my milk supply will not dry up dry up before that.

Mommy's separation anxiety

I went on my first business trip since returning to work from maternity leave. It took me away from baby from Sep 4 to 7.

Four days in Bengaluru. Four days of misery.

I survived by watching old videos of baby and looking at fresh photos the awesome husband sent over on Whatsapp.

When I finally got home at 7am on Sep 8, I had expected an emotional reunion, one that would see baby reaching out desperately for me and we both collapse into a long, tight hug.

Well, not quite.

Baby saw me, gave me a little smile, then turned his attention to daddy, his eyes twinkling like they always do when he expects playtime.

I took him into my arms and planted a million kisses on his face. As usual, my affection was overwhelming for him and he struggled to be free. LOL!

So there was my emotional reunion. Emotional on my part, and hardly any on his part.

Prayer for a baby boy

I'm sure many of you have by now seen the heartbreaking photo of the body of a Syrian toddler washed ashore in Turkey. I won't share the link here because that vision is just too much for my heart to bear.

I wonder what his parents were thinking when they prepared him up for this daring escape from Syria's brutal landscape. No doubt hoping and praying that their little boy, if not them, would make it to safety.

Here we are, fretting over what to have for lunch, where to go over the coming weekend, and what to wear today;  getting mad over delayed access to our CPF, lack of free education and medical services, and insufficient shelters from bus stops right to our lift lobbies.

Let's take a moment away from all that and say a little prayer for the little boy who lost his life and his fellowmen. If you believe in the existence of heaven, pray that he and the people who had died brutally are now happy and peaceful there. If you believe in reincarnation, pray that he and his fellowmen will be reborn into a place blessed with peace and kind politicians.

And if you are a parent, hug your little ones closer tonight and thank them for choosing you to share their life with.

Standing firm

Titus is standing independently for longer periods and more frequently today.

I was particularly taken by surprise when he stood on his own, with both hands grasping his rubber ducky, in the bathroom this evening.

And the floor was wet.

He stood firm for possibly three seconds before shifting one foot and slipping backwards into daddy's protective arms.

Big boy! Soon he will take his first unassisted step.

Do it yourself

Titus is learning to be independent these day, wanting to complete actions on his own and angrily refusing any help.

The past two days I've noticed how he would shriek in fury whenever I led his hand to certain things in an attempt to show him how things were done. He'd retract that guided hand angrily and try it again on his own.

I'm proud that he has this fierce desire to learn on his own, but when things don't go his way, he screams in frustration. Thankfully, Titus has such a sweet nature that he doesn't stay mad for long.

I just hope he continues to be a sweet kid until past his Terrible Two stage. :)

New milestones!

Four days shy of his ninth month birthday, Titus has finally mastered the art of grasping a piece of food AND transfering it into his mouth.

He has been grasping things for a while now - often toys and other things around the house - and is able to bang them about.

But he just had not been able to feed himself with his hands.

Well, until today, that is!

I'm stoked, especially since the food item he managed to feed himself is a tiny puff! That's some awesome motor skill he has achieved.

Furthermore, today also saw him standing unassisted for a second or two several times.

Baby is growing up! He will take his first step any day now!

Sigh, my feelings are contradictory. I want him to grow up and speak his first real word, take his first step, feed himself with a spoon, etc. But I also want him to be my little angel forever, so I may hug him and kiss him and tuck him under my chin as long as possible.

Who's an angry boy?

Sunshine boy was unusually grouchy today, whining, whimpering, fretting and crying since waking up from his pre-lunch nap.

Nothing we did could soothe him. Not even the all-powerful boob.

We struggled to feed him a bowl of porridge and then bathe him. He cried on. I brought him for a ride in the park to distract him. It worked for 10 minutes and he got grouchy again.

I told the Awesome Husband, "Titus never cries for nothing. Something must be upsetting him."

Perhaps his gums are hurting from his emerging tooth on top.

Perhaps his scalp is too itchy from the bad case of cradle cap that has caused bald patches (poor chap!).

Perhaps the day is too hot and humid.

Then at 2.10pm, he started to whimper in a different manner; somewhat less aggressively. Could it be poop, I wondered and took a sniff of his bottom. Ahh, mama knows best indeed! I picked up the stench of poop.

After changing him out of his soiled diapers, Titus cheered up and allowed me to latch him him. He tells sound asleep in under 5 minutes.

Truly, Titus never cries for nothing. His poor mood must have been caused by an upset belly.

MERvalous!

There was a time when Titus was very chatty and would talk in his baby language (obviously!) and sing out loud.

We joked that he had a fondness for Cantonese opera.

A few days later he went quiet again, much to our dismay.

Then, two days ago, he got chatty again, babbling "mamama" and "bababa" endlessly. It was so fun to hear him talk.

But the ultimate joy was when he cried out, "Mer mer mer" and pulled desperately at my nursing bra while trying to climb onto me.

That happened just after his evening bath, which usually precedes his final milk feed and bedtime.

Was he trying to say "milk"?!

I sure think so, because he was doing all he could to latch on and when I popped out a boob, he quietened. 

Boy would it be brilliant if he did mean to say "milk". It would show that he recognised his routine and associated the word "milk" with the act of latching on.

Titus is just awesome and I can't wait to hear more words from him!

Reflections on the Chinese

Interviewed a Chinese director of sales with a global company this morning and the man told me that he had chosen this area of specialisation because it was something he was the weakest in. He was determined to master sales and overcome his handicap.

Today, he heads a sales department.

If that isn't impressive, I don't know what is.

But his attitude isn't surprising. I've met Chinese who are determined to excel and upgrade their social standing through education and a great job, and aren't discouraged by tough beginnings. My Chinese classmates in university struggled with spoken English but they insisted on speaking it with me to ensure they learn. Even when they had to use this strange, foreign language in all their tests and exams, they excelled in them.

These Chinese are now competing with Singaporeans for jobs. In fact, they are everywhere competing with anyone for jobs. They can speak Mandarin, the future language of business, as well as English and possibly other languages too. And they aren't afraid of hard work.

If we Singaporeans continue to just stand there and complain about the Chinese coming to steal our jobs, our home, our space, our women/men, instead of thinking how to raise our competitiveness globally, we are doomed.

I'm terrible with Mandarin and I can barely survive more than a week in any Chinese city, but I intend to ensure Titus excel in his mother tongue and be 'export ready' for career opportunities in China.

Thank god Titus chose us

Every time I come across stories of children being abused or neglected by parents or caregivers, I thank god that Titus was given to us.

He's such a happy, tender, patient child and it breaks my heart thinking what would happen to him if he was born into a rough household with violent parents.

He's so easily tickled

With us he will get all the love he needs to grow up happy and well, so he may pass that love on to others around him.

Taxes well spent

Spent the afternoon at Sembawang Park yesterday afternoon and realised to my delight that some renovations of the place were made.

Pavements were given fresh tiles, the waterfront now sports sturdy plastic plants made to resemble wood, and there is a massive play structure that even I am tempted to get on and play!

Well paved roads across the park made
walking and cycling a breeze

It is moments like this that I'm glad to pay income taxes. I'm glad my money is put to good use!

Don't anyhow feed hor!

乱 、别: two words that look similar to me but with meanings so different.

I wanted to handwrite my MIL a note, telling her not (别) to feed baby after 7pm. Instead, my mind commanded me to write 乱 (wild, frantic).

So my note ended up being a hilarious instruction to feed him frantically after 7pm.

Little wonderer

Couple of days back we decided to take our first family vacation in Bali come October, after two of my major overseas projects are done.

I am determined to reclaim all the lost time with baby through a holiday in a fancy villa up in the quiet surroundings of Ubud.

Once that decision was made, I went online excitedly to purchase our flight tickets. I went through the flight selection, seat selection and even meal selection, only to reach the end when payment is due and realised that I've yet to make baby his passport!

Oh silly me!

So I had to put the flight purchase on hold until his passport was ready.

And today's the day!

Titus is now all ready to explore the world with us!

Interruptions

The Muslim new year will come this Friday, which means a long weekend for everyone here in Singapore.

I'm so looking forward to it! Largely because I need those few days to park myself on the couch and strap my girls onto the Medela Swing, and pray my breastmilk production will return.

Yes, a lactation vacation!

Work has built up significantly this week and I've not been able to tear myself away from work to pump at the usual times. For three days in a row I've been able to only pump once at work, before rushing home to baby.

To make things worse, baby slept through the night the last three days - from 9.30pm to 7.30am! A dream for most mothers, I suppose, but for me it meant sleeping through till sunrise with exploding boobies and realising I've missed a chance to empty my breasts and encourage production.

I really want to feed Titus for a full year, so I must find greater determination to remove myself from work and to wake up in the night to pump, pump, pump.

Smart diner

I love broccoli. So I cannot understand why this green health wonder is so hated by many.

To ensure baby loves the vegetable as much as I do, I decided to start him on it early. Like now, when he's seven months old. When his tastebuds are still untainted by seductive sweet and savory foods.

For his dinner, I prepared puree broccoli with red rice porridge. Yummy!

He took the first spoonful. No gagging. Good. Another spoonful. No scrunching up his little nose. Excellent.

So I fed on. However, I realised he was taking longer and longer to open his mouth. By the 10th spoon, he pursed his lips and refused to open them when I tapped the spoon against his mouth.

When I persisted, he turned his face away from me and refused to look me in the eyes. No amount of cajoling could get him to open his mouth and accept one last mouthful.

I refused to give up. So did he. And he started to twist his body away from me, desperate to get as far away from the spoon as possible.

It was hilarious.

This baby is smart and he knows he has the right to choose.

Earlier in the afternoon we gave him a baby rusk, a tasteless thing that is meant for babies to bite and relief teething pains while getting something nutritious in their belly. He took it, explored it gingerly with his mouth, and then gave daddy a peculiar look.

"Do you like it?" Daddy asked.

Baby took another bite, then held out the rusk stick and examined it with a frown. 

"Give it to me if you don't want it," daddy said, holding his palm out to baby.

And baby handed the wet, unpalatable thing to daddy. LOL!

Looks like I'll have to toss out the remaining box of rusks.

Hello again, pumpkin!

Japanese pumpkin was the first solid food I fed Titus when he was approaching his sixth month. He disliked it and I didn't press on. There were so many other fruits and vegetables to try!

Since then, he has been snacking on Japanese sweet potatoes, bananas, apples and pears in between his usual milk feeds.

Today, almost a month on, I've decided to get him reacquainted with pumpkin. Instead of giving it on its own to Titus, I mixed a thin wedge with two teaspoons of rice cereal and water. 

And voila! Titus loved it! Good boy finished the serving with little fuss and resistance. 

Next, I'm hoping to get him to love avocado.

Night falls

From the time baby wakes, my day is packed with activity - a tiring cycle of feeds, playtime, diaper changes and patting him to bed for naps.

And when he's asleep, it is time for house chores and my own meals.

You would think that I'd look forward to him finally going to bed for the night, so that I may rest and do whatever I so fancy.

Well, you thought right. Once he's fast asleep at 8plus or 9pm, I shower, change into clean clothes (finally!), lie in bed and access the photo gallery in my smartphone. I spend my next hour or more looking at the numerous photos of him that I had taken that day, reminiscing our time together and wondering if he had enjoyed his time with me. 

And the more I do that, the more I miss him. So I tip-toe back into his bedroom to sneak one more peek at his lovely, sleeping face, perhaps lightly brush his soft cheeks, pat his tiny hand, and adjust his little beanie pillow across his belly.

And before I leave him side, I whisper one more time, "Who does mummy love, darling? You. Mummy loves you."

Thanks for a great night!

Awesome baby slept from 8.45pm to 5.30am, the longest stretch ever!

He woke up crying only once at about 11pm, but settled back in within seconds after I adjusted him back into a comfortable position and popped a pacifier into his mouth.

Been a long time since I last slept through uninterrupted. 😄

The downside? My boobs are threatening to explode now, from the unexpected lack of service.

Say cheese!

There's one thing I've learnt about trying to take family shots with a baby: keep smiling at the camera and keep snapping; there's bound to be one shot in which baby happens to look straight at the camera and, if you are lucky, he will be smiling too.

Deleting failed shots later will be a bitch, but it is worth the time.

Here is a recent shot of us three. It is a perfect shot. We all look great and smiley, and baby Titus is simply radiating joy. :)

If only it was taken with my DSLR instead of my smartphone. I'd have loved to blow it up into a portrait and hang it on my bedroom wall.

Evolution of sleep

After five months of sleeping apart from the awesome husband, the time has come for us to be reunited!

For two nights in a row I've returned to my own bed. The change was made possible by baby's ability to move confidently on his own and to self soothe when he stirs up in the middle of the night.

I've slept in the nursery since his 2nd month out of concern that he may flip onto his face and not have the dexterity to get back up, and suffocate. :(

Well, the time has come for me to get back to my good old bed, and I rejoice being able to chat with the awesome husband until we fall asleep. Although, I must admit, I also miss spending my nights with the tiny bub and hearing his delicate sighs while he slept.

Anyway, I wonder if it's a coincidence that baby has been sleeping through the night since I moved away.

The first night he woke only at 4.40am, after going to bed at 9.30pm. He fed and returned to sleep until 7am.

Last night, he went to bed at 9.15pm and stayed in till 4.50am. He was wide awake sit on his feed though, and it took quite a while to pat him back into slumberland.

But oh what progress! Baby is becoming a big boy!

More love

Titus is becoming increasingly affectionate now, reaching out for me with his arms outstretched and looping them around my neck once I take him into my arms.

He'd even talk to me excitedly whenever I'm close to him, in his funny baby language.

While he gets just as excited with daddy, sometimes more so than with me, I am the only lucky one he'd reach out for.

I'm so proud of myself! He loves this cow!

But because of how he beams with joy whenever he lays his eyes on me, it has been so painful for me to leave his side every morning to go to work. Oh I wish I didn't have to work and could stay home all day to snuggle with this tiny chap.

Unfortunately we got to pay the bills and more.

Someone grew up overnight

It has been an excellent weekend with the husband and baby.

Just 11 days into his sixth month, Titus has become a lot more fun. For a while now he has been babbling on and off, and would chuckle when we play with him. He has also been crawling and trying to push himself up against anything that helps him to stand.

But somehow, he seemed to have grown up a lot overnight. Today, he was far more sociable than usual, sprouting a greater variety of 'words' (oh, ooh, ah, ma, ee, ha, ba) without any prompting or stimulation by us.

He also laughed heartily with little teasing. In fact, on Saturday afternoon, he had laughed out loud for a long time when he made eye contact with his daddy, and daddy had merely smiled and said hello. Today, Mr Happy smiled and laughed at anyone he came across, even strangers at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse where we had Father's Day lunch.

It is great to note that today, for the first time ever, he willingly sat in his pram while we ate, and did not try to escape. Just like a big boy, he sat quietly and watched us eat and offered an.occasional chuckle when one of us waved at him. :)

Titus is also suddenly a lot more mobile. Although he has been able to crawl steadily and stand with support, he could not sit upright on his own. Often, he'd fall forward or backward when he tried to sit.

But today, he was not only able to sit upright, he was scooting all over the playmat to reach for his toys. My big boy!

It is crazy how fast children grow. If I had gone away on business trip yesterday or today, I'd miss so much of his development. And that thought makes me wish I no longer have to travel for work.

Scary world out there

Before I was a mom, I would read news stories of abducted, abused, or neglected babies and feel sorry that something like that had happened.

Now that I am a mom, such stories shatter my heart and I tremble with fear and anger as I imagine the same being done to Titus. I cannot consume such news anymore.

Two days ago I saw this headline on a tabloid, "Kindergarten teacher staples boy's ears", and I averted my eyes right away. I didn't have to read the story to know how the poor, defenseless child, had suffered.

I made the mistake of reading a story last week of how a nursery caregiver had brought two little girls to the bathroom and smacked their ears and roughed up their faces as a form of punishment. One of them went home with swollen ears, hence alerting her mother to the abuse. I broke down, crying and telling my husband that I would end up with blood on my hands if I ever found out dear Titus was being hurt like that.

Then there was this horrifying case late last year when a caregiver at an Incheon daycare center tossed a two-year-old toddler around and onto the floor, like he was just a ragdoll. It was enough to put me off infant-care services for life.

I dread to think of those children who were smacked but had no visible injuries to 'save' them from further abuse.

Then, just moments ago, a friend shared on Facebook some photos of an Asian street beggar with a Caucasian child sleeping in his arms. The photos were placed next to a notice advertising a similar looking child who was abducted. Images of the poor boy being drugged and beaten to submission by his abductors to play the role of a beggar's child, came flooding into my mind and I shuddered.

What a scary world it is for children!

Oh how devastated I will be if Titus was taken from me and made to live such a life, and there was nothing I could do to hunt down those people and take him back home.

There's so much I would give up to ensure the safety and well-being of my child, and incidents like these strike fear in my heart because they could very well happen to him if I were ever careless.

Sick leave is a waste on mommies

Went to the doc's in the morning and he told me a joke. "Here is a day's MC for you to rest at home," he said.

Rest? Sure.

I went home, took my meds, saw there were things to be washed in the sink, so I did.

Then out of the corner of my eye I saw the laundry basket overflowing with baby's dirty clothes and bed linen, so I put them in the washer.

Realised the boob that baby didn't take earlier was a little hard, so off I went to express. When I was done, I figured I should shower before going to bed.

Oops, baby woke just as I stepped out of the shower. Let me latch him on first. Ok, baby's fed and it was now time for my own lunch.

Lunch's done, but so was the laundry. Let me quickly put them out to dry.

Figured I should make a little sweet potato puree for baby to snack on before I go lie down.

Oh, time for baby's bath. Ok, let's get that out of the way first. Baby's smelling so fresh and looking so cute; we should play together a little before I go rest.

Gah, all that activity got me too sweaty to sleep. Another shower won't hurt.

Uh oh. 4pm already? Time for my daddy to get off babysitting duties and for me to take over.

Rest? Never mind la, I'll do that once baby goes to sleep proper for the night.

What's the worst thing about being sick?

The answer?

Not being able to smooch Titus' face! Boohoo!

Discouraging momma

I like to think I'm a positive, encouraging person who refrains from saying no to others as much as possible.

But Titus, oh Titus, is making me utter more "no" and "don't" a day than I've ever all my life. It amazes me no end the number of things I don't want him to do. Here's just a short list:

1.  Sucking on the remote control.
2.  Sucking on my smartphone.
3.  Attempting to crawl over the edge of the sofa or my bed.
4.  Pulling his hair.
5.  Pulling my hair.
6.  Clawing at his ears, which are by now covered in scratches, some red and raw.
7.  Clawing at my eyes.
8.  Sucking on my face.
9.  Pushing and twisting himself off me while I'm holding him, but screaming when I put him down.
10.  Flipping around in split second during diaper change and then crawling off at lightning speed.


And he's barely six months old.

Monkeys next door

Start of the school hols is marked by the screams of my neighbour's two boys as they tear down the corridor in the middle of the night, playing with their plastic samurai swords.

And here I am in the darkened living room, praying hard that their screams won't wake baby up.

I don't know why their parents won't rein them in. There are two other infants on our floor. They  need sleep at this hour too.

We've got a crawler!

Two days ago, Titus was still wobbly on all fours and had only the courage to move one foot or hand forward in his attempt to crawl, before falling flat on his face. He has been like that for weeks. 

Yesterday, dad sent me a video showing the little chap shuffling forward in two steps, and then falling forward. 

This evening, as if fuelled by magic, he was able to crawl steadily and rather quickly all over the playmat! How fast babies grow! 

Why have kids if you are so eager to escape them?

Why have kids if you are so eager to escape them?

Hokkien for beginners

I'm getting Titus acquainted with this chart that teaches body parts in the Hokkien Chinese dialect. And I shall tell him every day that mummy loves his tiny kah-chng.

A little bizarre incident

My brother Kenny got hitched yesterday at the Raffles Hotel Singapore. It is a lovely, colonial property, but just wasn't one that I was willing to splurge more than S$700 a night on for a room to sleep.

Still, I needed some place to retreat quickly too once the wedding ends because Titus does not fare well past his bedtime at 8.30pm. So we rented a room at a high-end hotel nearby.

That night baby slept poorly. I blamed it on the lack of afternoon naps due to the activities throughout Saturday. He went to bed at 11pm and woke up shrieking at 1am. His eyes were shut and his was screaming. It took Joshua and I a while to calm him down.

It was finally in Joshua's arms that Titus stopped crying, and Joshua continued to pace the length of our room to soothe him.

I sat on the bed, watching the both of them when suddenly, the TV switched itself on.

The image on the screen wasn't your usual TV programme. It was a red, grainy image, like the reception was down or the TV was spoilt. There was no sound. But there was an outline of a long, thin face.

Joshua couldn't see what's on the screen from where he was standing, but he heard the click of the TV turning on.

"Hey, why did you switch on the TV?" he asked.

"I didn't," I answered calmly, with my eyes still on the 'face'. And with that, the TV screen blacked out.

Baby went on to be woken at 3-plus in the morning, screaming again. This time, we brought him into our bed and had he sleep between us. He fidgeted a few times, and woke whining, but we were able to console him quickly.

Joshua didn't probe and I was glad he didn't. He did ask me about the incident this morning, over breakfast in the hotel lobby. He thinks the TV is centrally controlled by someone in the hotel. Now, why would anyone turn on a guest's TV in the dead of the night?

I think the poor hubby is trying to find a practical explanation for the horror. :)

I didn't feel afraid at that point in the night. What I felt was anger, thinking that it could be a spirit that had disturbed the sleep of my child.

Run mummy, run!

I hardly used to run for anything before I became a mum. Nothing was ever that urgent that I needed to risk falling over for.

Now, there's hardly enough time for me each day. There's work to be done, milk to be expressed, a baby to be fed, vomit-soaked clothes and bedsheets to be laundered!

These days, I run, hop, brisk walk everywhere, and I'm not afraid of shoving slowpokes out of my way. 

Nom nom nom!

Have you ever seen a baby this happy to be eating, so happy that his large almond-shaped eyes turn into mere slits as he babbles and laughs? 

Well, Titus' joy is apparent as he is fed a small serving of watery rice cereal for breakfast. This is his second go at solids, the first being yesterday morning.
  
I forsee this boy will enjoy good food as much as his parents do. :)

Precious daddy and son moments

I love weekends.

I love even more the chance to see the awesome husband play with baby Titus, as he really knows how to get the little bub to chuckle.

These days Titus enjoys rolling about in our bed, treating it as his private playground and leaving saliva stains all over. It's alright, we don't mind.

Have a seat, baby!

Baby's got a new chair!

But he is only willing to sit in it for a couple of minutes before stretching to the sides, trying to escape. :)

Still, it is a few minutes of free time for me to run to use the toilet or get myself a drink! So I can't complain.

Happy birthday to me!

I used to think that life is sweet enough with Joshua next to me. Then along came Titus, and I realised that life could actually get sweeter.

This year I celebrated my 35th birthday as a mother to a healthy, happy baby boy and a wife to a very supportive, selfless man.

Somehow, motherhood made me appreciate my parents a lot more. The exhaustion and filth I have to endure as a time-strapped mum must be something my parents went through too, with me and my two younger brothers. So that's three times the exhaustion and filth! :)

So this year, I also celebrated my special day with my parents.

And I packed everyone off to Hotel Fort Canning, a lovely colonial style property at the peak of the serene Fort Canning Park.

It was our first family staycation in Singapore, and I am just glad everything went well (read: baby was happy and slept well).

I booked us connecting rooms, so my parents could simply skip over and play with baby any time they fancied.

The baby cot provided by the hotel was well maintained and came with two firm mattresses, a fluffy mattress topper, clean cot bumpers, two bolsters, a pillow and a blanket. I sure did not expect that, and had packed baby's blankets, cot sheets, pillows and bolsters. So, yes, I was impressed!

Once we were settled in, we left our lovely rooms and went to fill our bellies at The Salon, the hotel's only all-day dining outlet. The menu was extensive and we indulged with too many dishes for tea time. The one that rocked my boat most was fried mee siam with lobster. I would go back again and again just for this dish.

Baby dozed off on my dad's shoulders half-way through our meal, so I retreated with baby to our room and had a little snooze myself too. Any opportunity to grab forty winks is valued these days.

After he woke, we brought him for a little swim in the bath. He enjoyed wading around, but hated his neck float. His chin kept going under, causing him to ingest some bath water. Eeks.

Then it was off to dinner at Okinawan Diner Nirai-Kanai in Liang Court, one of my favourite Japanese restaurants in Singapore. It was spectacular that my brothers came to join in too, and everyone knocked back Orion beers. Everyone except me, cos I needed to breastfeed. Boo hoo.

Never mind. I will make it up to myself one day. :)

We were up early next morning - sleeping in is a thing of the past with baby around! After a quick breakfast at the hotel's buffet line, Joshua and I took a stroll through Fort Canning Park and enjoyed some time to ourselves.

When we got back to our room, I found a little birthday cake from the awesome people at the hotel.

I've travelled a few times on my birthday, both for work and pleasure, and this is the second time all these years that a service staff paid attention to my details and wished me happy birthday. It takes so little to send birthday greetings, but it means so much to the recipient AND signals great service.

So, well done Hotel Fort Canning!
 
We rounded off our one-night staycation with another feast at The Salon because the food was too good and there were so many other things we wanted to try. And before we left, we were already planning when to return for another meal at The Salon! How Singaporeans we were!

Sleepy baby

Seeing how Titus was wide awake after his 7.30am feed, we decided to start Sunday early and visit Grandpa Yue. But by the time we got ready and left home, he fell asleep! Aiyo.

Oh, and here he is with his new haircut from yesterday. :)

First haircut!

How many people does it take to trim an infant's hair?

Three. One to carry him. One to still his head while singing a messy medley of lullabies, pop songs and comforting words. One to cut his hair.

Exhausting!

Happy little pill

Titus is such a darling and everything he does seems to melt our hearts.

Yesterday he surprised us with a loud "HUH?" while the husband and I were distracted by the TV. He did it again this morning when I was staring into space. It was as if he wanted to know why the attention wasn't on him. :)

He has also seemed to have gained some independence lately. He's now 68 days old, and the past three days he has allowed me to put him down in his cot for at least five minutes, as long as I turn the musical mobile on. That's just enough time for me to dash to the toilet, brush my teeth, pee and dash right back to pick him up as he starts to grimace.

I have also been able to put him in the bassinet and a little chair the paternal grandparents had bought him, and play with his hands and feet while singing to him. In the earlier days, he would wail to the high heavens whenever I did that. Nowadays, he 'talk' to me during play time and chuckle silently. I love these moments!

And oh boy is he smiling a lot lately! There was an evening when the good husband had baby on his lap and held his little fists, pounding them on the dining table as he mimicked an angry Hitler, going "Nein! Nein! Nein!". Baby laughed so hard! If only he could already vocalise his laughter, it would have been music to our ears!

I think Titus is such a happy little child. He hardly throws tantrums and his cries are always for a reason and are seldom long-drawn. I like to think that his peaceful temperament must have been due to my happy pregnancy. :)

Mummy love you, Titus. You are my happy pill!

Our first dinner outing as a family

Baby Titus did extremely well on our first dinner outing as a family. 

He slept through most part of the car ride to town, and sat quietly in the baby carrier as we dined at Ryoshi Sushi Ikekemaru. Later, he even remained in a pleasant mood throughout our supermarket shopping!

Thank you very much, darling, for being so cooperative! Mummy and daddy will take you out with us often from now on! :)

Hands free finally!

There are some wonderful blogs maintained by mothers of newborns and young children. I'd love to ask them where the heck did they find time to post frequently?!

Baby Titus is a real darling and I love him deeply, but it has been a little tough - physically - to care for him. You see, he craves human contact so much that he refuses to be put down in his cot (or any surface for that matter) in the day, so much so daddy and I have to take turns carrying him all day. And it isn't just carrying will do for him. He demands that his caregiver walks around. No cheating allowed; he knows when we are seated! :)

As such, the Manduca baby carrier has become one of the best buys I've made so far. The other being the Medela Swing breast pump, for its awesome draining power in a short period of time.

Thanks to the Manduca baby carrier, we have been able to keep our hands free and take baby's weight off our arms. While Titus still insists on us standing and/or walking while he's in the baby carrier, at least we are able to do some light chores such as washing the dishes, doing the laundry and mopping the floor.

And when I'm alone at home with him, the Manduca baby carrier allows me to go pee whenever the call of nature arises! :)  Pre-Manduca days, I had to hold it all in and wait for the husband to come home after work so I could pass Titus on to him. It was crazy.

The Manduca has also give baby and me some glorious moments in the park. I've taken him for strolls in the park, with him in the carrier. And because it is so comfortable, Titus would almost always fall asleep half-way through our little outing.

I shouldn't complain, really. He's only going to be a baby for a while. Before I know it, he will start to crawl and wouldn't want to be in my arms all day.


Alright, gotta get back to baby! Till next time.

Frights

Darling Titus is feeling pretty insecure this evening, a result of a few unsettling events that took place earlier today.

It must have started with his second dose of Hep B jab early in the afternoon. Although the brave boy did not wail at length like all the other babies at the clinic, the jab certainly took him by surprise and he let out a loud, forceful cry that turned his head bright red.

Later, when we got home, I placed him in his cot - he was asleep by then - and went to prep his bath. Little did I know that he woke up soon after, and the sound of running water drowned out his cries for attention. By the time I picked up his cries and got to him, poor Titus was all red and trembling. :(

I held him close to my bosom to calm him, whispering continuously in his ears that I love him and will never abandon him. My poor darling!

When he seemed somewhat settled, I gave him his first bath for the day. Now, if there's anything baby Titus absolutely hates, it is having a bath. He knows it is coming and would cry forcefully once I begin stripping him down. So as I begin unbuttoning his bodysuit, he got all agitated again. Unfortunately for him, a bath must be had.

To make things worse, two minor accidents occurred during bath time today. First, I lost control of my weakened left wrist while turning him from back to front, causing him to slip on the bottom of the tub. It shocked him and made him cry even harder. Then, while rinsing his back on a face-down position, I failed to realise that he was placed too low and his face was submerged in water. When I brought him up, the tortured chap was sputtering.

I COULD HAVE DROWNED HIM!

I AM A HORRIBLE MOTHER!

It took a warm bottle of milk to help him regain his composure, and he fell asleep in my arms soon after.

It was apparent how the string of incidents had affected him; he startled more easily during his nap and I had to keep patting him and telling him I was there with him. Hardly surprising that the nap did
not last long.Unfortunately, when he rose, I was washing his bottles in the kitchen and did not hear him cry. Once again, he was all red and trembling when I got to him.

It took longer to calm him this time, and he would only be quiet when I cradled him tightly.

Now, the sun has set and he is still agitated. Oh man. I think it will be a long night for me.

Got milk?

Got!

What do you mean you know what I had for brekkie?