Asian women, especially the Chinese, believe in being confined to the house for an entire month right after delivering their babies.
During this confinement period, the new mothers would eat specific food to rebuild their energy and rid the body of 'cold' and other 'toxins' acquired during the pregnancy. Practices include eating copious amounts of ginger and vinegar, drinking plenty of herbal soups and red date tea in place of other beverages including plain water, avoiding the fan and air-conditioning (crazy thing to do in tropical Singapore!), and staying away from water (which means no baths and showers!).
To help new mothers get through this tough period, professional confinement ladies are often hired to cook and care for the new mother and her newborn.
In my point of view, many of these confinement rules were set during the ancient times in China, where there are four seasons (and therefore the biting cold of winter), a lack of electric heaters, food poisoning was common, and healthcare standards were poor.
It might have been dangerous for a new mother, weak from recent childbirth, to drink water from the well back in ancient times, but today, water straight from the tap in Singapore is absolutely safe to consume. To me, there is no scientific proof that drinking plain water in the first month of motherhood will cause the belly to bloat, or that showering and washing one's hair will give the mother rheumatism and make her susceptible to cold.
Despite not believing in these old wives' tales, I've gone ahead and hired a confinement lady to help me through the first month. Why? Because the confinement lady is an expert in caring for newborns and I could use an extra pair of hands to guide me, the greenhorn mummy.
At the point of writing this, my confinement lady has already been with me for 22 days. The going has been good, as I had laid the ground rules on day one.
I will shower and wash my hair daily, and without the use of herbs in my bath water (be warned, they leave a yellow stain on tiles), I told her.
I will not wear long sleeves and long pants at home at all, not in this heat, I told her.
I will have the fan and air-conditioning on should the weather be too humid, I told her.
I will not have fatty pig trotters in vinegar or anything cooked with Yomeishu wine at all, I told her.
I've heard of terribly strict confinement ladies who make life a living hell for new mothers. Thankfully, mine's accommodating.
And boy is she patient and hardworking! Because of her, I've been able to get sufficient sleep the past 22 days. Although I wake up several times in the wee hours of the morning to feed baby Titus, my confinement lady would take over burping him and patting him to sleep. There has been several times when Titus fussed endlessly through the wee hours, and she'd stayed up to calm him.
She also does more than care for me and baby. She'd mop the floor, scrub down the bathrooms, and do the family's laundry.
When some relatives popped over for dinner on Christmas Day, she even stayed up until they left to mop the floor and clean all the dishes.
I couldn't have asked for a better confinement lady. ❤
Yet, my mother-in-law has managed to find fault with her! She's not hired to watch TV, my disgruntled mother-in-law griped. The kitchen sink still is greasy, and the fridge needs cleaning, mother-in-law pointed out. She shouldn't be allowed to eat with me at the same table, and how dare she ate the meats that were meant for me, mother-in-law grunted.
I reminded mother-in-law that the confinement lady is not a domestic servant; she's a professional whose job is to take care of me and the baby. She is also human and needs some entertainment and rest. And what's wrong with dining with me? She is my equal, not my slave.
My mother-in-law's regard for helpers, unfortunately, is set in ancient times. I have to be really careful not to let both ladies meet face-to-face in the house, lest a cat fight ensue.
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