Of boobs and books

Baby's bedtime routine begins at 8pm when he gets a long bath and then milk direct from my udders. I will sing to him and talk to him softly about his day, my day, and how we had spent it together.

Most times he will suckle until he falls asleep in my arms, and then I'll tuck him in.

Tonight we deviated a little. Due to the heat, we decided to give him his bath right after dinner, at 7pm. Then we played in the nursery with the air conditioning on.

Time flies when we are having fun, and I realised with a start that it was already 8.15pm.

No wonder he was starting to rub his eyes and pull at his ears.

i popped out a boob and asked, "Do you want milk milk?"

He grinned so brilliantly and crawled quickly to me, slapped that boob a few times and latched right on while still on all fours.

LOL!

And when he heard me laughing out loud, he joined in. What a warm, fuzzy feeling to hear him chuckle so.

So Awesome Husband turned off the lights and left us to complete the bedtime routine.

Titus is such an awesome, easy baby.

I can't thank my lucky stars enough.

Meanwhile, today we noticed that he would look around for his story books when we say, "Where are your books, baby?"

Once, I hid two of his books under a large plastic tambourine and said,"Let's read some books!". Right away he looked around, spotted them and crawled right over and extracted one of the books from under the tambourine!

What a smart kid!

Teething nightmares

Titus is an awesome kid. For weeks now he has been waking up in the morning and playing quietly by himself until I woke up or my dad came through his door. Unfortunately that also meant we wouldn't know when he had actually woken up, and lately he has been awfully sleepy in the morning.

Dad reported today that baby slept from 1.5 hours at 9am, and then again for 2 hours at about 1pm. He didn't even finish his lunch!






The Awesome Husband suggested that perhaps he hadn't slept through the night, kept up by painful gums. Quite possible, as poor darling has been clawing at his gums and refusing to eat. Teething nightmares are finally here!

That probably also explains why he's been clingy and whiny around bedtime.

AND he has been chomping down on my nipples during feeds the past two days! I couldn't help but yelp in pain and he'd freeze and look absolutely mortified before breaking into tears.

Poor darling.

He just wanna be close to me

Titus was very clingy this morning. He refused to let me out of his sight even though he was obviously still sleepy after waking up for his first feed at 6.24am.

He cried at soon as I placed him back in his cot, but would lie quietly on my shoulder when in picked him up - a sign that he's sleepy.

So I carried him and sang gently to him, and then tried to put him down again. That failed several times, so Awesome husband came and took over, hoping to play a little with him to cheer him up.

I left baby's room for a while to use the bathroom. He wailed as soon as my back was turned.

I suspect Titus was so clingy this morning because we put him to bed very early yesterday - at 7.30pm because he had missed his nap and was rubbing his eyes and pulling his ears - signs of lethargy for him.

He didn't sleep right away, but laid still, hugging his bolster and staring into space.

I left him like that in the dark. I knew he would fall asleep on his own, he always does.

But he could have been lying in the dark for a full hour cos he sprung right up when I checked in on him an hour later. He sat up and looked at me with enormous eyes.

I'm not sure how awake he was then, cos he didn't fuss when I tucked him again. He shut his eyes right away and I quickly left his room.

He might have taken longer than usual to fall asleep last night, and must have felt lonely, hence his behaviour this morning.

I'm not complaining though. I value every moment he allows me to hold him quietly in my arms. These day little bub is always pushing off me to get down and crawl. :)

An accomplishment

It has been nine months and 12 days since I first latched Titus on, and I'm extremely proud of myself.

I'm glad that I persisted despite the rough start - blistered, bleeding nipples that just wouldn't stop hurting no matter the position I latched baby on and even when I'm not feeding because the fabric of my bra was brushing against them tender buds.

I'm glad I persisted despite feeling exhausted every night and day, and stayed up a little bit longer after every feed to pump in order to empty both breasts and encourage more and continued production.

I'm glad that I persisted despite returning to work and finding time to pump at my desk is increasingly tough as work gains momentum.

Of course, now that Titus is eating solids, he's suckling a lot lesser and my supply has plummeted. So these day every opportunity that I get to cuddle him quietly in my arms for a feed is a precious one. Nevermind that he feeds for only 10 or 15 minutes. Every minute is celebrated.

I don't know for how long more he will take my breasts. I just hope my milk supply will not dry up dry up before that.

Mommy's separation anxiety

I went on my first business trip since returning to work from maternity leave. It took me away from baby from Sep 4 to 7.

Four days in Bengaluru. Four days of misery.

I survived by watching old videos of baby and looking at fresh photos the awesome husband sent over on Whatsapp.

When I finally got home at 7am on Sep 8, I had expected an emotional reunion, one that would see baby reaching out desperately for me and we both collapse into a long, tight hug.

Well, not quite.

Baby saw me, gave me a little smile, then turned his attention to daddy, his eyes twinkling like they always do when he expects playtime.

I took him into my arms and planted a million kisses on his face. As usual, my affection was overwhelming for him and he struggled to be free. LOL!

So there was my emotional reunion. Emotional on my part, and hardly any on his part.

Prayer for a baby boy

I'm sure many of you have by now seen the heartbreaking photo of the body of a Syrian toddler washed ashore in Turkey. I won't share the link here because that vision is just too much for my heart to bear.

I wonder what his parents were thinking when they prepared him up for this daring escape from Syria's brutal landscape. No doubt hoping and praying that their little boy, if not them, would make it to safety.

Here we are, fretting over what to have for lunch, where to go over the coming weekend, and what to wear today;  getting mad over delayed access to our CPF, lack of free education and medical services, and insufficient shelters from bus stops right to our lift lobbies.

Let's take a moment away from all that and say a little prayer for the little boy who lost his life and his fellowmen. If you believe in the existence of heaven, pray that he and the people who had died brutally are now happy and peaceful there. If you believe in reincarnation, pray that he and his fellowmen will be reborn into a place blessed with peace and kind politicians.

And if you are a parent, hug your little ones closer tonight and thank them for choosing you to share their life with.

Standing firm

Titus is standing independently for longer periods and more frequently today.

I was particularly taken by surprise when he stood on his own, with both hands grasping his rubber ducky, in the bathroom this evening.

And the floor was wet.

He stood firm for possibly three seconds before shifting one foot and slipping backwards into daddy's protective arms.

Big boy! Soon he will take his first unassisted step.

Do it yourself

Titus is learning to be independent these day, wanting to complete actions on his own and angrily refusing any help.

The past two days I've noticed how he would shriek in fury whenever I led his hand to certain things in an attempt to show him how things were done. He'd retract that guided hand angrily and try it again on his own.

I'm proud that he has this fierce desire to learn on his own, but when things don't go his way, he screams in frustration. Thankfully, Titus has such a sweet nature that he doesn't stay mad for long.

I just hope he continues to be a sweet kid until past his Terrible Two stage. :)